The Atmosphere of BDSM

                           The Atmosphere

          The atmosphere is a reference to the environment your sub lives in day to day. It is a combination of your actions, your attitude and demeanor, communication and interactions, enforcement's (chores, rules etc.) dress and attire, position and placement, events and actions, training and humiliation. Everything you do and say should been done to reflect your power and control over him and his obedience and submission to you. The atmosphere is a very heavy influence on his continued submission and eagerness to obey. Submission, obedience, and servitude is his new reality and its defined by the atmosphere he trains and serves in. His atmosphere needs to be strict, to affirm your control and his submission. You create the atmosphere and the atmosphere you create is just as important as training and punishments because it's what helps keep his mind submissive and on task before, during, and after training. It also keeps ongoing training to a minimal after he has been broken, emasculated, and turned into your complete bitch.
           After he is trained hard everyday then exposed to the proper atmosphere for an extended amount of time he will become more submissive and accepting of his place to serve you, but more importantly he will believe this is how its supposed to be and want to be there. The proper atmosphere will keep him focused on the behavior and chores you have trained him for. I'll explain the proper atmosphere as it relates to normal everyday life; Some people go to nightclubs because of the atmosphere. The atmosphere is the people, the place, and the surroundings. There is music that sets the mood for dancing, a bartender that will get your drinks made, people to socialize and dance with, and of course the possible hook up....It is a party and booty call atmosphere and everyone knows why they are at the bar because it has that specific atmosphere that says just that. Work also has its own atmosphere, you have a known time you start and get off, you have tasks to preform, you know what your job is and you know your there to do that job. There are other people there including a boss that interact with you for or about your job, and you know you have to be professional about your job, your there for only one reason, to do your job. Both these atmospheres are uniquely different but both set your mind frame for that particular environment. You wouldn't party and drink at work because you know there would be consequences, you would get fired, and you wouldn't even be able to do your work at a bar atmosphere. The female domination atmosphere is exactly the same, you can not mix your wife and Mistress lives, it cannot be both it has to be one or the other. Femdom atmosphere will have the same effect and relay the message to your bitch that you are in control, that he obeys, that he is only there to serve you, and that he will have consequences and be punished. In short, if you want to be a successful Mistress and Dominatrix, with cuckolding, and have a obedient submissive bitch, YOU HAVE TO keep him in the proper Femdom atmosphere.

          The proper Femdom atmosphere doesn't just strengthen his place as your submissive and your place as his dominant, it builds your character, helps you transition into a position of power, keeps you on task and in the mindset of a Dom. It also feels good, makes you happy, builds self esteem, and makes cuckolding or dating a boyfriend more erotic. But also its very important, as it keeps normal everyday stuff (like stress, arguments, or fights) from interfering or destroying your progress especially when dating in a serious relationship. When you act as a Dom, dress as a Dom, speak like a Dom, punish like a Dom, and most importantly think like a dom, you become the Dom you need to be and he instinctively becomes the submissive you deserve. There can be NO EXCUSE from you, you must find a way to  work with or around kids, work, friends or family. You are in control, you give the orders, you create and dictate the atmosphere, just as you dictate the training, chores, and the rules you want him to obey. So it is your responsibility to give him the atmosphere that he can transform in, that he can thrive in as a proper submissive and you must keep him in that proper atmosphere to capitalize on his submission and training, ALWAYS! You are physically, mentally, and chemically changing him to be the bitch you want and deserve. You are emasculating, degrading, punishing and breaking his will to get the submission you deserve. This is a lot of change for his mind and body, especially the chemical changes he must endure to truly become your submissive bitch especially if training to be a sissy. The proper dominant and strict atmosphere will force the transition from man to submissive bitch or sissy bitch and force him to want that. The proper atmosphere with severe punishments will help keep him in the submissive state and from rebelling or fighting the change. The atmosphere your sub lives in every day will help keep his mindset on the training and behavior you expect and want out of him. So its in your best interest to Be a strict, ruthless, cruel, dominating, humiliating and sadistic Dom, plus keep him horny, submissive, and in the atmosphere that dictates he is only there to serve and obey you. You do not want him confused about his place and purpose to you again especially if your dating a full time boyfriend. You want him in complete understanding that he is your bitch and there to obey, he is not an equal, he has no rights, no input or say so. 

          The atmosphere you want him in is that of a sub, a bitch or sissy, and it should include all faucets of Femdom, especially heavy cuckolding. Yes, you getting fucked regularly and often with cuckolding or taking a full time boyfriend is part of the correct atmosphere. In fact, cuckolding him is vital for his humiliation, emasculation, and transformation, plus key to his submission as it is physical submission to an alpha male. The atmosphere should also consist of a very strict routine for, cleaning the house and chores, a routine for when he gets home, how and when he eats (dog bowel), how and when he sleeps, When and how he serves guest (or boyfriend) and everything else.  Also a specific place for kneeling, how he knells, where he looks or what he does while he is kneeling, and how he shows submission. NOTE* The atmosphere must include lots of humiliation, foot and ass worship time, groveling and begging to serve. You must be forceful, and dominating at all times and give severe punishments for every violation. But just as important and also the key to the proper atmosphere and his true submission is your attitude and demeanor towards him, and the way that you speak to him. Remember, you are a Dom not his wife or equal and he is there for only one purpose, to serve and obey! You  should always (even in public) be strict, demanding, very aggressive and cruel towards him. You must understand and accept that he is your bitch, that his purpose is to serve and obey you, nothing more than a tool to service you and make your life better. You must treat him as such showing no mercy, and careless of his feelings or thoughts to anything. You must be very strict and ruthless with a demanding demeanor, and an aggressive speaking voice. The way you dress, (both dom wear and street cloths) as well as the sex appeal you give off is also important to keeping him submissive. A successful Mistress never fights, argues, or shows weakness and uses her slave to the best of his ability. She uses her imagination and experiments with new ways to have fun, humiliate or punish him. She thinks outside the box, uses all her tools, props, and toys for training and play. She keeps him guessing what's next, how much humiliation will he suffer, how much pain will he be in, and pushes his boundaries which will push him to the ultimate submission. A bitch can not resist a strict, dominant female, it is his nature to submit and serve her and he will never be happier then being on his knees at your feet.

          Another important factor or tool to keep the proper atmosphere is to always call him "bitch" or "sissy" or penis slurs that pops in your mind like, "cum slut or cock slut" or anything else humiliating you can think of. You should have him kneeling at all times, even in public if possible or if your a die-hard Dom bitch and don't care, then especially do it in public. After all nothing shows power like a bitch who submits to his mistress in public or around her friends but especially her boyfriend. Also he must be naked as much as possible to keep him in the submissive role. Another very good tool for the proper atmosphere is restricting his movement (while kneeling, chores, or in public), walking him on a leash, wearing a collar at all times possible or even buying him a chain necklace that represents his submission (you can find then at the mall, on ebay or amazon) and its a replacement for his wedding ring. Your interactions with him will always be as his mistress and it should never include small talk, normal communication, play time, or anything else that would give him the impression he is an equal, has input, or has value for anything other than service.  You understand why right?  You have to decide what is it that you truly want out of him or from him, a husband and equal or something much better, a bitch that belongs to you, to serve and obey you! As a bitch, he is only there to serve and obey, his purpose is to make your life easier by serving and obeying, suffering humiliation, handing over his paycheck, paying for pussy he will never have, paying for the privilege of being on his knees serving you. UNDERSTANDABLY due to kids, work, etc. some normal interaction may be necessary at times, however your demeanor should always be as the authority, keep it as minimal as possible, and at times when it is less distracting to him (like in bed or at the end of the night). Female Domination (Femdom) is a belief that as a woman you should be in control of your bitch, it is a 24/7/365 lifestyle and only successful if you put in the time and effort, and do as described above.

          Through the atmosphere, you want to convey that his place is kneeling and serving you, his Mistress. You want him to show him that this is his natural place, his purpose, and that this is where he belongs AND you want him there from now on. He must take you serious and you must make him believe that his only purpose to you, is serving and obeying. How can he take you serious if you don't take it serious by keeping him in the proper atmosphere, in his place, and enforce rules and punishments. You want him to know this is real, this is what you want and believe it should be, this is his reality from now on, SO MAKE HIM BELIEVE YOU ARE SERIOUS!! How can you do this, well for starters you need to make a list of rules and chores and then make sure he follows them exactly every day. He must always address you as Mistress and you call him his sub name you choose. You must not show weakness and you need to train hard to have him focus on your rules and chores as well as the type of behavior you want from him. That doesn't mean you have to put in long hours of training although the more each day you can the better. My normal is 1 1/2 hours and I can make 1 1/2 hours of hard serious training seem like 3 hours. It's all in your attitude, demeanor, dominance, cruelty, the way you talk, dress, punish and humiliate him while your in training. Making him beg, repeat or answer humiliating comments, and admit he is your bitch and will obey any orders you demand. Tell him what you want, what you expect from him, explain his role for cuckolding, his chores, and his place. Remember the goal is to develop the type of submissive you want and you will get out of him what you put into him, so be precise with exactly what you want from him and by him. Remember to be dominate, strict and punish severely for disobedience. Once you create a routine, and force him to live and be that desired slave, with time it will become his routine, natural, and normal for him. It will become what he wants to be, to please you, his mistress (the one who controls his pleasures). Again he will never be happier then when he is on his knees serving and obey you.

          When it comes to cuckolding and your sex, this is for your enjoyment and pleasure, not his. It is not a show put on for your bitch or an act you do to please him. As such when, where and how much sex you have is completely up to you, it is simply none of his business especially if you have a serious relationship with a boyfriend!!! It is however part of the atmosphere, and his most of his humiliation so IT IS A MUST to involve your bitch in some way, but how he is involved is up to you. He could listen from kneeling in a corner, he could watch on his knees (always the most humiliating), he could participate in some sexual way (loose or tie down), or on some occasions locked/tied down (caged even) in your dungeon/playroom or any other way you can think of. *NOTE* it is extremely vital that you include him as much as possible, your sex is his sex and his involvement is not only for humiliation and to make him submissive but also vital to his emotional health and well being as its a form of intimacy between the two of you especially if you have developed a serious relationship with a boyfriend. It is very common practice for a Mistress to date or have a boyfriend that has no knowledge of her bitch, and in most cases even knowing of her lifestyle. So the bitch may only be allowed to listen or sneak peaks for weeks or months to that particular BF until something changes it. However, most Doms choose to have 2 or more sex partners for back up sex and to give the added humiliation of watching. In any case, he must always do clean up duty, this includes his mess from precum or milking. Your sex gives the much needed extreme humiliation, but its always about your pleasure and you enjoying it, so if he is permitted to watch then he must be on his knees, or in a corner, or a place that you say he must remain until you allow him to move clean up the mess. Also, it is very very important (especially if your bitch is watching) for you to show your sex partner that your enjoying it and sound like your enjoying it so that he knows he is pleasing you. It is also really good to do or act differently from sex with your boyfriend that you didn't do or normally do with your bitch. EXAMPLE: Moan when sucking his cock, like you really enjoy it - moan very loudly when getting fucked, even louder when cumming  - grab the sheets in your hands and pull tight when fucked doggie style -  do positions you wouldn't do with the bitch - tell him several times how much you love his cock and how big it is - play with his cock through his pants - suck his cock in public where possible to do so - treat pussy and sex as its his, when ever he wants it - dress sexy for him including lingerie and don't let the bitch see you wear it until after your boyfriend has (sometimes not at all) - shave pussy hair the way that turns on your boyfriend (ask him) and let the bitch know and show him  - let him come over for late night sex - do make-up, hair, nails, or wear clothes the way he likes it - talk dirty or get talked to dirty and let the bitch over hear you - have a 3 or 4-some with your boyfriend, male and/or female - have him leave sucker marks on your breast or inner thighs or other places that you can expose for the bitch to see that shows you were naked and having hot foreplay prior to sex - get excited when getting ready or planning to go see your boyfriend -  anything you can think of that shows you love and prefer sex with the boyfriend. If possible and with the right boyfriend/bull the bitch should serve in ways to show submission like holding your cloths, giving condoms as needed, fetching towels or water, providing lube, and doing cleaning up after, don't forget to make him clean up from sex as well (like throwing away used condoms/ rappers or garbage away, making bed or picking up sheets etc.

          Afterwards, you need to give extreme humiliation about how much bigger and better the guy was, (rather he was watching or listening) how much you love the sex and prefer it, how the bitch could never make you cum like that, and how much of a bitch he is. Next, you need to be the Dominatrix and live it everyday, it is your place and he will respect you and accept intimacy or a serious involvement  with your boyfriend for being the proper Dom. He will also behave and react better about your boyfriend with you being the strict Dom you should be. You also must treat him as the slave or bitch he is and never give him a reason to think he is anything else but your bitch. AGAIN, this means no socializing or small talk with the submissive, his purpose is cleaning and serving you, not discussing work, your plans, or about your best girlfriend. Talking with him normally or socially creates false objectives and will give him the impression that he has a different place or role....He does not. You need to be very dominate and strict, being vocal and speaking with a firm demanding voice when dealing with your submissive. Again, this is how it must be to convey his place and his purpose. This is not an event for him, this is not play time, fun, or make believe, IT IS HIS PLACE, and his purpose from now on. It must be real, it must be serious, and it must be lived exactly like that or as I said, its just a game to him which will give him the false pretense that he has a say or can stop when he chooses. He does not, and he will not react this way or negatively if you show him otherwise. Again adding to the atmosphere you must keep him naked and kneeling at all times possible, you must make him worship your ass and feet, he must grovel at your feet and you must continuously make him state his place and purpose to you as well as you tell him this. Forcing him to live as a your sub, preform sub duties, treated as your sub, talked to as your sub, punished as your sub, and he will be your sub, but more importantly he will believe he is your sub and know its real, that this is what you want from him.  

          Have you ever wondered what make other Doms so successful, or how Pro-doms are so good at it, how all these women do as they please, get what they want and even flaunt it in public and to the world. Because they are not shy or embarrassed about who they are, they have realized and embraced their power. They know and believe they are the superior sex and demand submission from their males. They don't make excuses or think they will do better tomorrow, they think like Doms, understand and do what they need to in order to control their men. NOTHING is to extreme and they are very aggressive, dominant, cruel, kinky, ruthless and punish severely. There really is no grey area about this because you either live the lifestyle or you don't. Anything else and its just for fun or spicing up the dull sex, so you can't be upset when things don't go the way you want or you find yourself in a confrontation with him about your boyfriend or him wanting sex or disobeying an order. You can't claim to be a Dominatrix and have a true submissive if you don't live that every minute of every day and force him to be the submissive you want every minute of every day. Now don't get me wrong, that's not saying that you have to go around the house wearing your black leather outfit with your cane in your hand beating your sub, although that does sound fun and may be needed at times, its not piratical all the time. What it means is that 99% of your actions, decisions, and interactions with your sub should be done as a Dominatrix, never a wife, and you treating him as the bitch you want. Sub's don't sit next to their Doms, they don't play games on phones or consoles, they don't go out with the boy's, they don't watch TV, and they don't do as they want. They do as they are told, they ask for permissions, they knell, they clean, they don't speak, they serve and obey! AS I SAID, if you train him correctly, treat him correctly, and punish him correctly, you won't have to do much more than speak in a firm voice to make him obey any order you give. You may be married, but it is no longer as husband and wife, you are married as Mistress and bitch. You are not equals, and you don't answer to him or ask for anything, you demand. You make the rules and he is the submissive, he begs for permissions, he obeys you, he cleans the house, and he hands over the paycheck. You need to realize that you can't treat him as an equal partner or even a man, he is not and if you wanted that from him you wouldn't be here reading this. You must create the atmosphere of a Dom and slave relationship, you must live it and it must be 24/7/365. It is you that must make the commitment to be what you want, have what you want, and get what you want. You are the boss, you are in control, you do as you want, you make the rules, you are the women, the mistress and the complete and only authority in the house. You must be exactly this, be aggressive to create this, be strict to control this, humiliating and punish to enforce this. You are no loner his wife, his care taker, or anything else other than his Mistress or Dom and he should fear you and what happens when he doesn't obey you or follow rules. You have the power, be smart and live life the way that turns you on!! With all this said, you do still love him but you can love him as your bitch, your intimacy should be at proper times (like around friends and family and at night in bed) Some Doms still choose to have intimate sex (make love) but most do not, in that case I recommend strap-on sex to fulfill the much needed intimacy between you and your submissive. When, where and how is always your choosing but on average its done once a month (unless more is needed). Remember you get out what you put in, so train exactly the way you want him to be. I heavily advise you to read this several times and keep it handy for reference.