Monday, October 23, 2017

Importance of pain and punishment

I read this from another blog titled under another name. She is a very intelligent woman and It is her prospective on the difference of living a FLR (Female Led Relationship) or on occasion a Dom - slave scenario versus  jumping into a BDSM - Mistress and slave lifestyle. Living the BDSM lifestyle is much more rewarding and I think this is important for new Dom's in understanding why most Mistresses give harsh punishments and live this lifestyle 24/7/365 as opposed to just dabbling in it a week or so out of the month. It truely is a different, complete, and satisfying feeling for the Dom and a truer much more sincere submission from the slave/bitch (if done correctly). There are other reasons why it's more important to do it 24/7 like it keeps him focused, it changes his way of thinking, far less back talk and unruliness or bad behavior, easier life for you, and many other things. But this gives you a simple but true aspect of the reason to go 24/7 as most do.

It's been about 6 months since my last blog entry.  At the point when I stopped writing, my husband Karl and I were experimenting with slavery - his, of course.  For a few days each month, he became a total slave as opposed to his usual submissive self.  There's a big difference between being a submissive or a slave, and there's an equally big difference between being a dominant woman or a slave owner/driver.  I seriously doubt that many couples involved in a female led relationship (including marriage) could make such a transition on a semi-regular basis, if at all.  Most dominant wives draw a line at administering physical punishment at the level often "required" in the process of truly enslaving a husband, and I suspect that even if a couple weren't married, the same limiting factor would probably arise.  

Even if the dominant female makes the transition, there's a good chance that the newly minted slave would soon realize that he'd bitten off more than he can chew.  There's a big reality leap required between the fantasy of being a slave subject to serious physical pain and the moment when that lash actually strikes the skin.  Reality can be very painful indeed, and when a dominant woman views the reaction of her male experiencing his first real pain session, it's often more than she can bear.  The experiment quickly ends, and that's that for real corporal punishment.

Of course, I'm not "most women" and I've never had any trouble administering punishment, but being a slave driver is a new level even for me.  And Karl - who insists that he's not a "pain freak" - has gone through some serious changes in his ability to tolerate said punishment.  We're now a full year into this "experiment", and I feel I should write about what's happened so that the many people who follow this blog are not left up in the air.  I do remember some commenters predicting dire results if this slavery transition were to take place, and I certainly had no way to predict what would happen between Karl and me when we adjusted to this new reality.  I wanted to try it, he wanted to try it, and the results of one year of part-time slavery are in.  

As the title of this blog entry reveals, the first and foremost result was in the giving and taking of pain, both physical and mental.  Over the years, Karl had gotten used to taking orders from me and experiencing various forms of punishment, including corporal punishment, but at a much lower level than I was now prepared to dole out.  As our slave games progressed month after month, I found myself relishing the punishment I was subjecting him to.  There was a heady feeling of POWER involved in seeing a stripe appear on the body of my slave/husband as a result of my using a whip or cane on him.  I've never denied being a sadist, and I've written extensively on this subject in the past - even insisting that all dominant women are sadists at least to some extent -  but now I was a sadist unleashed, so to speak.  It was undoubtedly different, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying it.

What about Karl?  What was his reaction to seeing  - and very definitely feeling - the difference in me?  We talked about each session each month during the time in-between, and at first we were both somewhat afraid of what was happening.  He more than me, but that was understandable as he was the one feeling the pain, but I too was concerned about the difference in the way I now felt when administering the punishments.  Neither one of us wanted to go over the edge, but it was becoming increasingly clear that "the edge" was in a state of flux.  I seemed to be giving out more pain, and he seemed to be able to take it better than either one of us had expected.

For the first half year, each month had a three or four day period of slavery.  Month seven marked a vacation period at work for Karl, and we decided to spend a solid week as Master/slave (I don't like the word "Mistress").  I could probably write a book about that week, but suffice it to say that it was intense.  We had both agreed that there would be no turning back for that period of a week, no time-outs, no discussions, no safe words, etc.  A full immersion into this experiment to see where it took us.  Believe me, it took us to a new place, much more so mentally than physically.  We truly became Master/slave, and isolating ourselves from all friends or business connections, it was just Karl, the slave, and I, the Master, in every sense of the words.

Karl later said that he experienced his first real case of "slave space" as opposed to "sub space" and I certainly did the same on the opposite end of the spectrum.  By day five of that week, we were both somebody else, if that makes any sense, and at the end of day seven it was truly hard to go back to what we had always perceived as reality.  I was so much the Master and Karl was so much the slave by then, that pulling ourselves away from the entire thing was like yanking yourself out of a deep sleep dream.  Do I mean "nightmare"?  No, not at all, and I guess that's the point.  It was not a feeling of relief from something fearsome.  Much more like awakening from a dream that you wanted to continue if you could just go back to sleep again.

Strange?  Yes.  Unexpected?  Totally.  Neither of us had ever relly considered a "permanent" slavery situation, but now such thoughts found their way into our every day musings.  When Karl went back to work after that week, I found myself missing having my slave available at all times.  He admitted to lapses of concentration at work - which he could get away with as the "boss" - but there was no denying that something had changed.  That seven day immersion into total slavery had whetted our appetites for more of the same.  I had reached new heights of administering punishments and subjecting Karl to significant pain, and I had enjoyed it immensely.  For his part, Karl's slave space had  - as he put it - "brought me to a realization that the pain was warranted and bearable as a tool for making me a perfect slave".  He had made that leap of existing solely for my pleasure, and if that involved punishments that strenghtened my total control of him, then so be it.

Needless to say, this situation was a long way from what now seemed a "simple" female dominant way of life.  To be sure, our relationship was never "simple", and we'd already experienced far more of what could be called "extreme" moments than most female led relationships ever experienced, but this slave experiment had clearly brought us to a new paradigm. Whether this was a good or bad thing was debatable, but that had yet to be decided.  

I will continue this later.  As always, I welcome comments.

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Proper punishments

I had a Mistress send me this the other day...This is a good example of using a cane to punish your slave for breaking rules. Notice how these Doms are enjoying themselves, they are relentless with spanking him, and make sure at the end his ass is bruised and welted up. This is not just a enjoyment or teaching spanking during training, this is a punishment spanking and meant to deter rule breaking and it is meant to be remembered. I counted over 200 hits in the full Video, which makes this about an average punishment, had he broked a major rule this would have been way higher as I will show below in other clips. The only thing I would have done different is tie or bound him down better so he could not move and take every hit to its fullest impact.

A good Mistress doesn't care about how much pain she inflicts, he deserves every minute of his punishment and it will help him be a better slave to her. Watch how she uses different instruments for whipping to inflict a variety of pain on him. The cane (both ratted and nylon), the leather paddle strap, and the leather whip are best for give extreme pain that can be given for long hard whippings with out numbing the butt or causing long term damage...But must be used correctly. Wood or rubber paddles are not for long spankings they can do more damage and numb the skin making the punishment less effective but are effective in small amounts, about 3 or 4 every so often.

In this clip the Mistress is very serious about his rule breaking and back talking. This is a very good example of of how to punish for major rule breaking or any rule breaking you don't want him to repeat. A spanking like this on his ass will turn him into a very sincere and completely submissive bitch for the next couple of days, and its then that you will see the difference in a disciplined slave.  She doesn't care about his crying or scream out (he has on a muzzle under his mask to dampen the sound) and you shouldn't care, in fact if he is screaming or even crying them the spanking is doing its job. The only 2 things wrong here is that she did not tie him down (because he is a seasoned slave and taught moving will bring even worse punishment), ALWAYS TIE DOWN and she is not humiliating and reinforcing his place or scolding him for his bad actions. Something else which is not necessarily bad is I never whip my bitch on the back for punishment, only the butt. If I do whip his back or tops of his legs where they meet his ass, I don't leave marks, in other words the hits are lighter or not at all. Marks in this are can be seen by other people, family or kids and there is no way to explain this, so you should refrain from hitting him there.

OK I've shown you some good clips of punishments, this one is a bad one. She is right in not caring about how much pain she inflicts, and how serious she is in inflicting the punishment. For the most part she is also doing good in hitting him consecutively (whipping one after another). However, she is hitting him with extreme force and eventually with all she has. Through out this she breaks several instruments which shows she is hitting to hard. Then she switches to a paddle and continues to hit him with all she has which completely tears up his ass and far beyond acceptable marks and an effective punishment. A hit should be firm and hard, never with all your might especially with a paddle. 40 to 50 hard consecutive hits is great and needed, especially to correct bad behavior but after that give a minute or two before hitting his ass again. Take that time to smack his balls or his face even. In the full video he is hit over 400 times, which may be needed or warranted for continued rule breaking or back talk. This is acceptable but only with proper hitting impact, and the 1-2 minute breaks in between. And always reinforce his place, humiliate, and scold for his bad behavior, and tell him how he is to act from then on.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

The Atmosphere of BDSM

                           The Atmosphere

The atmosphere is the same thing or meaning as the environment your sub lives in day to day. It is just as important as training because it is what helps keep his mind on task before, during, and after training. The proper atmosphere will keep him focused on the behavior and chores you have trained him for. I'll explain the proper atmosphere as it relates to every day life; Some people go to night clubs because of the atmosphere. The atmosphere is the people and the surroundings. There is music that sets the mood for dancing, a bartender that will get your drinks made, people to socialize and dance with, and of course the possible hook up. Everyone knows why they are at the bar because it has that specific atmosphere that says just that. Work has its own atmosphere, you have a known time you start and get off, you know what your job is and you know your there to do that job. There are other people there including a boss that interact with you for or about your job, and you know you have to be professional about your job, your not there to play games. You dictate the atmosphere for your sub just as you do the rules and service he preforms for you. The atmosphere your sub lives in every day will help keep his mindset on the training and behavior you want out of him. So its in your best interest to keep him horny, submissive, and in the atmosphere that dictates he is there to obey and serve you. The atmosphere you want him in is that of a sub or bitch and should consist of a routine for cleaning the house, a specific place for knelling, plenty of humiliation, foot and ass worship time, groveling, and service and obeying time. The best way to keep the proper atmosphere is to always call him by the sub name you gave him, have him kneeling naked as much as possible and to keep him focused on rules. It should never include small talk, normal communication, play time, or anything else that would give him the impression he is not a slave, has input, is equal, or valued for anything other than service. Right? His purpose is to make your life easier by serving and obeying, and handing over his paycheck. Everything else including his tiny worm you will get from a boyfriend or Bull.  

You want to convey that his place is kneeling and serving you, his Mistress. You want him to believe that this is his natural place and that this is where you want him from now on. He must take you serious and you must make him believe that his only purpose to you, is serving. How can he take you serious if you don't take it serious and enforce rules and punishments. You want him to know this is real and this is his reality from now on. How can you do this, well for starters you need to make a list of rules and chores and then make sure he follows them exactly every day. He must always address you as Mistress and you call him his sub name. Then you need to train hard to have him focus on your rules and chores as well as the type of behavior you want from him. That doesn't mean you have to put in long hours. I can make 45 minutes of hard serious training seem like hours. Its all in your attitude, the way you talk, dress, punish and humiliate. Remember the goal is to develop the type of submissive you want and you will get out of him what you put into him, so be dominate, strict and punish severely for disobedience. When it comes to your sex, this is not a show for him, yes the humiliation but its about your pleasure and you enjoying it, so if he is permitted to watch then he must be on his knees, or in a corner, or a place that you say he must remain in until you allow him to move. Also, it is very very important to both your sub and your sex partner for you to show that your enjoying it and sound like your enjoying it. If possible he should serve in ways to show submission like holding your cloths, giving condoms as needed, fetching towels or water, and cleaning up after.  Afterwards, you need to give extreme humiliation about how much bigger and better the guy was, how much you love the sex and prefer it, how the bitch could never make you cum like that, and how much of a bitch he is. Next, you need to be the Dominatrix and live it everyday, it is your place and he will respect you for being the proper Dom. He will also behave and react better to you being the strict Dom you should be. You also must treat him as the slave or bitch he is and never give him a reason to think he is anything else but your bitch. This means no socializing or small talk with the submissive, his purpose is cleaning and serving you, not discussing work, your plans, or about your best girlfriend. Talking with him normally or socially creates false objectives and will give him the impression that he has a different place or role....He does not. You need to be very dominate and strict, being vocal and speaking with a firm demanding voice when dealing with your submissive. Again, this is how it must be to convey his place and his purpose. This is not an event for him, this is not play time, fun, or make believe, IT IS HIS PLACE, and his purpose. It must be real, it must be serious, and it must be lived exactly like that or as I said, its just a game to him which will give him the false pretense that he has a say or can stop when he chooses. He does not, and he will not react this way or negatively if you show him otherwise. Adding to the atmosphere you must keep him naked and kneeling at all times possible, you must make him worship your ass and feet, he must grovel at your feet and you must continuously make him state his place and purpose to you as well as you tell him this. Forcing him to live as a your sub, preform sub duties, treated as your sub, talked to as your sub, punished as your sub, and he will be your sub, but more importantly he will believe he is your sub and know its real, that this is what you want from him.  

There really is no grey area about this because you either live the lifestyle or you don't. Anything else and its just for fun or spicing up the dull sex, so you can't be upset when things don't go the way you want or you find yourself in a confrontation with him about wanting sex or disobeying an order. You can't claim to be a Dominatrix and have a true submissive if you don't live that every minute of every day and force him to be the submissive you want every minute of every day. Now don't get me wrong, that's not saying that you have to go around the house wearing your black leather outfit with your cane in your hand beating your sub, although that does sound fun and may be needed at times, its not piratical all the time. What it means is that 99% of your actions, decisions, and interactions with your sub should be done as a Dominatrix, not a wife, and you treating him as the bitch you want. Slaves don't sit next to their Doms, they don't play games, they don't go out with the boy's, they don't watch TV, and they don't do as they want. They do as they are told, they ask for permissions, they knell, they clean, they don't speak, they serve and obey! If you train him correctly, treat him correctly, and punish him correctly, you won't have to do much more than speak in a firm voice to make him obey any order you give. You may be his wife on paper, but in reality you are his Dom and the authority in the house. You are not equals, and you don't answer to him or ask for anything. You make the rules and he is the submissive, he begs for permissions, he obeys you, he cleans the house, and he hands over the paycheck. You need to realize that you can't treat him as an equal partner or even a man, he is not and if you wanted that from him you wouldn't be here reading this. You must create the atmosphere of a Dom and slave relationship, you must live it and it must be 24/7/365. It is you that must make the commitment to be what you want, have what you want, and get what you want.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Rules Punishments (updated version)


1. Always address mistress as mistress or her approved name
2. Always ask for permission to do anything, including bathroom.
3. Always kneel at all times, NAKED if possible. but especially to ask for permissions or beg.
4. Keep pubic hair trimmed or shaved to mistress's specifications
5. Always show submission at all times, even in front of other people, find ways.
6. Never back talk or demand the Mistress
7. Never speak with out permission or question the mistress. It is not your concern or your business.
8. Never ask for pussy or anything to do with it.
9. Never question Mistress about who she fucks, or how she does it. Its none of your business.
10. Obey all orders on command with out hesitation.
11. Get all daily chores done.
12. Respect and serve your mistress to the best of your ability, including lovers/boyfriends or friends.
13. Never touch the mistress or her property, this includes phone, computer, purse and tiny clit dick.
14. Always address your self as the mistress property or her bitch

Failure to do a chore; (each chore) 25 swats (your choice or mixture of devices)
Failure to ask permissions or address as mistress; (per event) 10 swats
Failure to keep pubic hair shaved, touch phone or other property; (per event) 20 swats
Failure to address himself as your bitch, speak without permission, show respect (per event) 10 swats
Below is a major infractions, and you will keep adding swats to the last number, EXAMPLE; Monday he back talks, he gets 50 swats, Thursday he back talks, he gets 60, Saturday he back talks, he gets 70. This prevents repeating further infractions, eventually he will obey all rules.
Failure to obey an order; (per event) 75 swats, add 25 each other time
Back Talking or Questioning you; 50 swats per event add 10 each other time
Asking for or anything about pussy; 1st event 100 swats, 2nd event 200, add 50 each other time.
Touching Clitty; 1st event 100 swats, add 50 each other time

SWATS are spanking his ass with you choice of device or any mixture of devices. Be it paddle, crop, cat-o-nine tails, bull whip, leather strapping whip, canes, belt, or hand. These punishments should be given immediately at the time of the offense, and should be followed up by 5-10 min of corner time. If not possible, do corner time and swats later that day. punishments should also include a mixture or all of these; loss of privileges, loss of free time, loss of allowance, loss of watching or hearing your sex, doing extra or longer versions of chores (example hand wash dishes, wipe floors on knees with rags, scrub toilets with scrubber sponge, feeding on floor with out utensils etc. Also electric devices and toys, ball stretching ball smashing, ball rope confinement, ball slapping or cropping, ball creams/sprays that burn, candle wax on balls and ass, urethra toys, nipple clamps, bondage positions, spitting in face, slapping face etc.  You can and should add swats at your desecration for any violation or for what ever reason to give them, but DO NOT GIVE LESS THAN POSTED ABOVE and remember to scold and humiliate him while punishing him.

Your rules should be made to follow 24/7/365, no excuses from you or by you and he is not allowed any excuses either. You should be very strict, demanding, and serious with daily training. After about 2-3 months of training the way you want him to be and being a proper Dominatrix, he will be the submissive you want.

Saturday, July 29, 2017

Talking with humiliation

An example of how to talk to you sub. During this I am talking with a strict tone of voice, in a very serious demeanor. This is a phone call on my way home from my boyfriends house that continued when I got home. This took place a few years ago shortly after seeing John (first boyfriend)  for a month. This is how a Dominatrix acts towards her submissive, and how he should be treated.

"Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring" Hello Mistress. What took you so long to answer the fucking phone. I'm sorry Mistress, I was finishing up with cleaning. I don't care what your doing, you answer the phone on the first ring, don't leave me waiting on you again or it will be 50 lashes for each ring over the first! Yes Mistress, I'm sorry mistress for wasting your valuable time. You should be, and you will be punished for it when I get home. I'm on my way home, So you better be on your fucking knees in your place when I get there. Yes Mistress! "click" (25 minutes later I walk through the door) Take off my shoes and put them away. Yes Mistress. (I take my top off and throw it on the floor, not wearing a bra) Pick that up and hang it up, then get my loose shorts off the dresser and bring them to me. Yes Mistress. Cover them! (*cover them* is a position I've trained him to get in when my pussy will be exposed. its while kneeling putting his hands down in front of him like doing a push up only about 6 inches apart, then close his eyes and put his face on the floor between his hands and hands move to the sides of his eyes to block side view, he is not to move from that position until I say kneel ) (I remove my work shorts and toss them on the floor next to his face, then take off my panties and inspect the wet spot from sex with John. I then put on my loose shorts with no panties) (this is to tease him as when I stand or sit with no panties on he can catch glimpse of my ass or pussy lips) (I then sit on the bed) Kneel! Yes Mistress. (I then reach over and put my panties over his head and move the wet spot directly to his nose) Do you smell that? Yes Mistress! (when he smells my pussy juice and johns cum, it makes him really submissive) Do you smell how well my pussy was pleased. Yes mistress, thank you mistress for allowing me this privilege. May I please be your humble servant from here out, please Mistress, please? Oh, your going to, that's why your here, to serve and obey me and your going to be a good bitch aren't you? Yes Mistress! Smelling our sex makes you weak doesn't it? Yes Mistress, its really humiliating to. It should be, knowing a bigger cock is pleasing me in ways you never could and your little clitty is locked away. Yes Mistress! Worship my feet and think about how good he fucked me, how he stretched my pussy and made me scream. Yes Mistress. (he bends down on all 4 and starts licking and sucking my feet and toes. That's a good bitch, suck my toes like a little cock. Yes mistress! Thank ME!! Yes Mistress, thank you for allowing me the privilege to worship your feet, thank you for allowing me to serve you and the humiliation of knowing my place. (I laugh and say with a serious tone) That's right, this is your fucking place and I want you in it serving me like the bitch you are from now on. Yes mistress! (after about 4-5 minutes of him worshiping my feet i say) That's enough. Yes Mistress.

(panties are still on his head) Is my bitch nice and horny? Yes Mistress! Good, I want you submissive and eager to obey. Is that understood? Yes Mistress! Before you get punished I have good news, I've decided I'm going to date John from now on so some things are going to change. Yes Mistress, whats changing? For one, I'm going to be seeing john a lot more. Going over his house more for sex, and even spending the night. Mistress, what about me what will I do? You'll do what your told,  keep the house spotless, even hand wash the dishes to pass time, and cancel the grass guy because you'll be cutting it from now on. Besides that I have plans for you on some of the nights I won't be home. Plans Mistress? Yes, I've been talking to a bi-sexual Bull from your AD and he would love to have you on some of those nights. Mistress, That doesn't sound good, I'm worried what will happen, may I please....SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH! Its not your place to think, only obey. Your here to please me and I don't give a shit what will happen, or if you approve, you will go and do what he commands of you, is that understood!! Yes Mistress! GOOD, cause he has my permission to use you how ever he see's fit and to punish you accordingly if needed, then you will be punished by me when you get home. Is that understood? Yes Mistress. The only rules I have is he must wear a condom if he pegs you, and your chastity stays on. Yes Mistress, as you command. That's right, and you have another 50 lashes for back talk. Yes Mistress!

Moving on, In the past I allowed you to see my pussy from time to time up to a a few days before I got fucked, but I don't think its appropriate that you see john's pussy anymore. Even though he doesn't know about you, its his pussy and frankly I don't want you seeing it. You don't ever deserve pussy, that includes anything to do with it. Mistress, Please don't take pussy completely away, please I'll do anything you say!! (I grab him by the hair of the head and smack his face) Your going to do what I say regardless of what I do or take from you, is that understood! Yes Mistress! (I release his hair and say) But don't worry, at least you'll have a lot more times to clean up the mess. Mistress, your really going to get serious with your boyfriend, I'm really not getting pussy again? (with a very serious tone I say) Yes and fuck NO! He turns me on and fucks me really good, way better than you ever did. Besides I don't want you or your tiny prick for sex, it has never pleased me and honestly makes me want to laugh when I see the little thing. YOUR FUCKING PATHETIC in bed, and can't last more than 4 or 5 minutes. Why would I or any girl want to fuck that worthless tiny thing. This is exactly why that worthless piece of skin should be locked away for good. I don't want to touch it and honestly I don't even want to see it outside of the chastity. (I remove the panties from his face and say in a loud strong tone)Your a pathetic little pussy whipped bitch and you should be on your knees begging me to get fucked by a real man. Begging me to get his big cock and have what my bitch could never give, ORGASMS and hot sex! And your going to, your going to beg me to get all the cock I want because that's the only way your ever going to get close to my pussy again. (I pause, then laugh and say) Not that you get to touch it, or even see it, instead you get the humiliation of tasting what a real man gets to do after he pleases my pussy. (I get real close to his ear and say) You get to know how much better he fucked me by filling my pussy with his cum and that I not only prefer his cock, I love it. But at least you get to smell my pussy while you take every last drop.  And that will be your reward for being a good little bitch, cleaning my house and doing laundry while i'm out getting fucked by a real man....Just like it should be. Yes Mistress, I'm sorry for having a little clitty Mistress. You should be sorry, (I bend down and smack his balls 5 times and say) you should never of felt the pleasures of pussy, my finger feels better than you. I would rather finger myself from here out then suffer through another 4 or 5 minutes of dull tiny clit sex.

The only way you can please me is kneeling at my feet with your little clitty locked away, cleaning my house, handing over your pay check and begging to serve me. You know that's all I want from you, nothing else! You should be paying me for the privilege to be my little bitch and serving me, that's your only purpose for me. Its a privilege to be my bitch, and you should beg me for that privilege everyday! Yes Mistress, I should be on my knees begging to serve you and please you anyway you allow. That's right bitch, you should be! Your worthless to me otherwise. Especially now that I have decided to date John and take pussy completely away and lock away clitty for good. Mistress, PLEASE, PLEASE don't lock it away for good. I promise to be the best bitch ever. I'll do...
Shut it! Your going to be the best bitch ever, you have no choice, and your going to beg me for my big cock. You'll do anything to get it cause you won't be able to help yourself, with clitty locked away, your're going to want it and need it for pleasure. I like it that way, It turns me on to hear you beg me to get big cock, but even more to hear you beg for MY big cock. Your not a man, I don't respect you as a man, and I don't want you as a man, I have a boyfriend for that. Your a pussy whipped, BITCH. I want you to be my bitch. I want you to be my cock loving, feet and ass hole worshiping, cum eating sissy bitch! It makes me wet to hear you scream and moan as I fuck you into submission and to hear you beg me to pound your pussy. It really turns me on knowing I own you, and can control you with out even touching my little clitty, you'll do anything I command just to have my big cock own your pussy. Won't you bitch? Yes Mistress, I'll do anything for your cock. Tell me you love my cock! Mistress I love your cock! Tell me what you'll do to have me own that pussy. Mistress I'll do anything you say, I need your cock. Good, cause its all your going to get from now on and I want you to remember, I want and prefer sex with a real man, not a sissy bitch and I'm going to get that from now on. Your going to clean my house, do my laundry, and service whomever I say. If you fail to obey me, you will be punished severely for it. I'm going to increase punishments and lashes. Its time to take your punishments and then kneel in the corner to think about how to properly serve me. Take off your panties and get in place!

From here I tied him over the spanking bench, then proceeded to bruise and welted his ass up. He received 150 lashes with the cane and leather whip, but that's another event to tell another time.      

Friday, July 28, 2017

The Bull, The Boyfriend

I know there is mention of Bulls and boyfriends, and even lovers through out my blog but I wanted to write something specific and update the topic.

Boyfriends just like bulls have a unique roll to to play in your fun and lifestyle. The main difference between the boyfriend is that he does not interact with your sub and the majority of the time doesn't even know he exist. Boyfriends can be kinky or even freaky, and all guys love a kinky girl in bed, but he may not be into cuckolding and BDSM. Plus he may not be able to handle the fact that you have a significant other, even though he is just your bitch. For those reasons you choose not to tell him of your current lifestyle, and this is best as it allows you to fuck that hot guy your attracted to for as long as you like with out fear of him running away scared. Never the less, boyfriends can be just as much fun as a Bull and are actually vital to a well rounded Fem Dom lifestyle. They add the element of unknowing, suspense, and even jealousy to the sub, and for you the passion, thrill, seduction, and chase that all women thrive for. Boyfriends are chosen as boyfriends for the above reasons but also these are the guys that you are attracted to, make you wet, and want to spend time with. That's not to say that you couldn't feel the same about a Bull or that a Bull couldn't also be a boyfriend, but typically Bulls are less attractive (sometimes barely fuckable, even if that) and are mainly there for the humiliation and deeper submission of your sub....But I'll discuss more on that later. Of course your Boyfriends doesn't have to be a total hunk, its just that you actually have an attraction of some kind to him or he may very well be hot. With that in mind, I wouldn't focus to much on looks or you may be searching for a long time. Instead, find an attraction and go with it because there is plenty of time down the road to find a better looking boyfriend. And you should always be looking!

As I said boyfriends are guys that you are attracted to and you want to spend time with them....Out to dinner, or a movie, or concert, or what ever and then back to his place for some hot passionate sex. Because you want to spend time with them for activities, dates, and sex, your boyfriends are also the guys that you will completely replace your sub with. After all, your subs only purpose to you is support, cleaning, and obeying. Replacing your sub for your boyfriend means you would buy lingerie for him, dress and look sexy for him (let your sub know your doing it all to turn on your boyfriend), go on dates with him, and he is the one you go to for sex as you are essentially dating him. This includes going over to his house for late night sex, early morning sex, lunch time sex, or on the way home from work sex. At some point you may even opt to spend the night, which can be exciting, especially for middle of the night sex or early morning pounding before you go home. With that said, typically, these are also the guys you would want to stop using a condom with early on, you are dating and it is his pussy now right? This gives you better feeling for sex, orgasm, and allows you greater humiliation of your sub. Telling your sub its your boyfriends pussy from now on and bring home a cum filled pussy for him to see as proof. Not using a condom is very humiliating, but being made to clean the mess fuels humiliation and submission (Even just the smell of your sex can bring powerful feelings of submission from him). After all your sex is his sex, even if its with a blind fold on cleaning the after math of your pleasure in how ever manner you choose.

Some Doms choose to date or even be a little serious with that one guy they can't get enough of, thus putting the relationship with the sub as strictly a service bitch. This may be your choice as well, but regardless you should try to include your sub as much as possible with your boyfriend, especially if he will only be your bitch. Do this by having him help you get ready/dressed but only when your not wearing lingerie for him as the lingerie is for your boyfriends eyes only. Also make your sub can take you and pay for(waiting outside the store as you shop) lingerie or sexy clothes for him, or you could show him when you get back what sexy clothes or lingerie you made him buy for your boyfriend. Even listening over the phone from time to time while you get fucked, which is both humiliating and arousing for the sub. Another humiliating thing to consider, and this helps with involving your sub, is that you need to tell him details about your fun night. Especially the sex part; positions, how loud you were screaming, how well and long he fucked you, how many and how strong your orgasms were, how much bigger his cock is (even if its not much bigger, tell him it is) etc. You must tell him about this stuff to keep him involved and jealousy in check. This also keeps him from thinking bad things, I can't tell you enough how much this helps. You will also want to peg him, this will help relate you going on dates and getting fucked to his reward/pleasure (but only peg every 3rd or 4th time you get fucked). Its better if you can peg him immediately when you get home as the effects are far stronger.  Plus you can tell him about the sex as you prepare him for pegging, but either way put your cum filled panties over his head to his nose and tell him about how they got that way. Be creative when including your sub, humiliation is key. Again, including your sub will help him deal with any anxiety or jealousy feelings and it also adds to the humiliation. Its good to have him feel a little bit jealous as it helps keep him submissive but keeping that in check will prevent problems down the road. This is also another reason to be really strict, making him follow all rules and punish for disobeying. Especially if you find that one guy that you want to date long term. Failing to do your part as the Dom will cause problems and I guarantee 100% this new relationship and lifestyle will crash.

You can find boyfriends just about anywhere, out at a bar or club, online dating sites, Tinder, or even Craigslist. There are also Swinger sites that host an assortment of single men who are already into seeing and dating married women. You could even meet one out at a store shopping or getting your oil changed. It doesn't matter where you meet a guy but you can't be shy or nervous to go talk to them. You don't want the guy that caught your attention to get away, so go talk to him....Who cares if he ended up having a girlfriend or what ever but you must try. You should always be looking, and for that reason you should also always look your best. It doesn't even matter if your out with your sub, for all the guy knows is that's your brother or a friend. This brings up another point, you should flirt and talk to guys all the time (unless with a boyfriend or Bull) in front of your sub, make comments about hot guys and the bulge in their pants to help humiliate him.

You can have as many boyfriends as you can handle, but I recommend at least 2 even if your dating. Even if you find that special boyfriend that you can't get enough of. This will help keep things from getting to serious as you could develop more feelings than you should if you had just 1 boyfriend. Its okay to really like a guy, but the L word should never be in the equation. You must remember, even though you are dating another man or men, this is just sex. Its great sex, but just sex and should always be about the sex. The extra stuff involved is just to make the sex better and more exciting but also to help humiliate and submit your sub. If you feel you may be developing feelings, it is your responsibility to end the relationship immediately. You should also never hide anything, no sneaking around or deleting text, you don't have to answer for it, so if you do hide it, it makes you look guilty. This includes not telling you met up with your boyfriend, (not telling is the same as hiding it, and its also not including your sub which you have to do) erasing messages, or phone calls. Besides if anything ever did happen you'll have them as proof. Again, you don't have to answer for anything you do so don't hide it. Also, you need to keep your boyfriend in check if he becomes to clingy. Be careful, you don't want to push him away, just explain that you don't want it to serious. Explain that you like it how it is. Just about any guy can deal with having a girlfriend who gives him sex (especially with out condoms) when ever he wants, goes out with him, and occasionally spends the night if told no more serious than that. Use your best judgment to decide if its time to move on.

Bulls are where the real fun begins and are the epitome of humiliation for your sub. Bulls bring humiliation unmatched by anything else you could do (shy of another female), and every Dom should have at least one or two Bulls. Just by the very fact another man is present and knows of your situation can be very humiliating for your sub, let alone any participation he would have. Bulls are also more likely to have bigger cocks and while the sex usually lacks the passion you would get from a boyfriend, its has power and drive that can be erotic, which is the best sex you can have. Plus it has the added feature of humiliation and involvement of your sub. Of course sex and the type of sex varies from Bull to Bull and Boyfriend to Boyfriend, so if you find that one bull or boyfriend that fucks you really good, makes you wet and you can't quit thinking about the hot sex you have with him, don't let him go!

A Bulls role has multiple aspects in the BDSM/cuckolding lifestyle. First, he can be a sex partner or only for forced anal and oral sex on the sub if you choose that (called being used). Many Doms have bulls that only come to use the sub. Second, he will help humiliate your sub, both verbally and physically, and help you with idea's. Third, he can help with punishments and bondage/positions. Lastly, he gives visual aid and proof as nothing is better than hearing you say his cock is so much bigger than yours and he fucks me way better than you ever could then seeing that bigger cock make you moan and scream to every mind blowing orgasm. As I said above, Bulls are mainly used for the humiliation of your sub, the greater the humiliation, the deeper into submission he will be. There are few things that are on the level of humiliation and arousal at the same time as watching you get fucked while seeing and hearing you scream and moan to that bigger better cock, orgasm after orgasm. These examples also really turn on your Bull and boyfriend as all men find it hot when a girl is sexy; You should be loud when moaning and even louder when you climax (this lets every one know you did, which humiliates the sub and the guy know he is doing the right moves to make you orgasm. Your body actions should show that you love that bigger cock, really arching your back and grabbing the mattress or sheets when being fucked dogie style. Laying your legs out wide to allow him full and deep penetration when fucked missionary style. Also hands under his arms grabbing his back/slight nails in his back switching up with grabbing his ass. Making facial expressions that you never made with your sub that show pure ecstasy and pleasure (again the sub knows you never did that with him, and the guys is extremely turned on that he is rocking your world). You should not be shy to act dirty and talk dirty (all men love that and really love a sexually involved girl) enjoying yourself and show that you are! You also want to make it humiliating by saying comments to the Bull and to the sub about the sex and cock size. Things like, "I love your cock" , "his cock is so much bigger than yours", "he fucks me way better than you", "your cock feels so good", " He hits that spot you can't reach", think of your own as well. After your finished, there are fewer ways more humiliating than having to lick clean the mess, especially if made to do so in front of the bull. Depending on your training , you may have to adapt how its cleaned to suit your situation.

Probably the most humiliating and submissive act you could do to your sub is have him serve and obey your bull and adding forced oral and anal. Having to call him Master, Sir, Boss, or Sire and kneeling and obeying, leading to forced oral or anal, followed by watching or listening to you scream and moan to his bigger cock reinforces the subs only place as a submissive. This can be compounded by him watching up close and using him to pleasure you or the Bull by licking/sucking your ass, toes, nipples or sucking on his balls or cock. Its up to you on how you use the bull to help you, your only limited by your imagination and kink level. DO NOT BE SHY, do what ever ways turn you on and don't be afraid to tell the bull what you want done and what pleases you. That is his purpose there and he knows this, plus he is just as turned on as you by the fact he is in the presence of a dominant women and gets to join in the fun. Trust me, he is a Bull for a reason!

Do not be hung up (pun intended) on looks or dress when it comes to finding a Bull, the most important thing is his cock size and his willingness/experience to be a bull. Lets not forget this is about humiliation for your sub and your participation level is up to you, its also a good way to let your sub be involved even if its not the way he prefers. Some of the best sex I've had has come from guys I was not into at first. Also  a big, big, no no, NEVER say negative things about your boyfriend or bull to your sub, remember this is supposed to be great for you, best sex ever, bigger cock, a real man, thinking about his cock all the time, all the things that make this humiliating for your sub. So don't ruin it by comments or remarks that contradict the humiliation your trying to give. This means if problems arise between you and him, you don't like a certain way he does something, or what ever, keep it to yourself. Its hard to find a Bull and far harder to find a good looking Bull, so as I said before, looks are not important, focus on reason he is there. The best places to find one are; Craig's List - BDSM web sites, like,,, - joining BDSM forums and groups, like FetLife and Collar Space. Place an Ad with pics neck down for yourself, but also place one for him. This is very humiliating to him that you have pics of him waist down wearing a chastity as well as pics of him in bondage soliciting a male to use him . The AD should read" looking for a Bull or alpha male to Dom my bitch" or something along those lines. It must be you that sets it up and all meetings, and only you meet at first. Then once you have found one or several Bulls or Alpha's and figured out whats going to happen, its time to play with your sub. Do not explain anything to your sub, you don't need his approval (the humiliation is the surprise as well as the event) plus its none of his business what you plan, just do it.

When you find one, tell him what you want and how you want it done. Don't be afraid to explore and ask him his input. You need to pick a name that turns you on for your sub to address him, like Bull, Master, Sir, Boss, or Sire. Remember Training is important, you don't want to jump right into having your sub suck his cock (unless you have been training him from the start). You need to train him to do this, which includes you wearing a dildo harness and having your sub suck it, among other things like a long hard caning while explaining he will eventually suck cock or be severely punished. Your subs chastity should always be on when the Bull comes over. Starting out; Your sub will always be on his knees, and at first only serve you directly. When its time for sex the first time start with just humiliation and him watching (up close even) and some participation like sucking your toes. The second time; again have him kneeling at all times and only serve you directly. However this time when its time for sex, its time to do forced cock sucking. Have him in bondage and position of some sort and a mouth spreader in to show he has no choice. Begin by undressing the Bull and yourself, then foreplay (sucking tits, cock and pussy) for a few minutes. Then have the  bull go over and stick his cock into your subs mouth. Make sure he spends a few minutes fucking his mouth and at the same time you cane his ass and tell him to get use to it. Now its time for sex and humiliation, once finished the Bull should go the your sub and again fuck his mouth.  You will do this for the first 4 or 5 times of sex with the bull and remember to train as well. After that; you want your sub on his knees sucking your Bulls cock hard for you and sucking it in between your sex with him. If he refuses, you have not caned him long or hard enough and put your dildo in his mouth enough. But if it does happen, put the mouth spreader in and force him to, as you welt up his ass bright red and blue. When the Bull comes over, be creative and change things up from time to time. You want to make this extremely humiliating for him, so that he is compelled to be submissive and believes his place is serving you. Some things to do; one of you fucking the sub while the other gets cock sucking (remember to be humiliating and smack his ass), Making the sub suck your dildo stuck to a wall while you guys fuck, knell him in the corner after he has sucked your bull hard. Use him while you guys have sex. Come up with things that turn you on and use your toys, Blind fold, ball gag, mouth spreader, dildo's, bondage equipment, crop, cane, what ever you have. Again, experiment, explore, and have fun, you will find that this will turn you on immensely. Something else to consider is finding a Bull or alpha male (bi or gay even) who's only purpose is to dom and use your sub. Either with you there or while you spend the night at your boyfriends. Your choice, but remember its all about the humiliation! *note Strict training and punishments will need to be used for this.

Bull or Boyfriend, you should be having sex regularly, at least 3-4 times a week. You must show that you love the sex, that you want to have it, and can't wait to get it. That it last longer and is way better with them over your sub. On the same note, again once you've found the Bull or boyfriend with that awesome cock, and you really love the sex with him, don't let him go and keep your sub involved one way or another.  Enjoy!    

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Serving Two Dom's,

                                SERVING TWO DOM'S


My story is probably not unlike yours, as I think every dominant woman has to find the power inside to take her natural place as the authority in the household. For me it took about a year to realize to get what I wanted from him I had accept that I needed to change my whole demeanor and outlook on what our relationship use to be, to how I really wanted it. This was just as important as training in order to help bring out the submission in him. I had to stop looking at our relationship as a married couple with equality and treat it as a matriarch, me as the Dominant and him as the submissive. I had to envision that I wanted him on his knees serving me, but also serving me properly, and there is a major difference in being properly served. To get that I had to become the ruthless bitch I read about from so many other Blogs by Dominatrix. I wanted him to show his submission to me every minute of the day, open doors, pulling out my chair, calling me Mistress, bowing his head as I spoke or stood up in his presence, rubbing and worshiping my feet etc. I didn't want any back talk, or him questing me, and I certainly didn't want to have him interfere with who I fucked. Yes just like many thousands of other women in this lifestyle, I got a taste of power and great sex and I never wanted to give that up. But as much as I love the bigger dicks and far better sex, and I mean I do love it, I love the power side of it just as much. I want to be in charge, and do as I please and fuck whom I want when I want. I don't want to ask him or get an ok from him to do anything, plus I love to hear him beg to serve me and watch him obey my every command. I also love to see him kneeling naked in front of me with his tiny worm penis locked in his pink chastity and I love hearing him scream in pain from the punishments he gets for not obeying me properly. So to get what I wanted I was going to have to be mean and strict, controlling and dominant. I was also going to need enforce the rules I laid out and to punish him severely for every rule he broke with out going easy on him, and I did. I was very strict, and spoke to him with a strong forceful tone of voice. I made him follow every rule 24/7 and made him scream and beg me to stop from punishments for not following orders or rules. He had welts and bruises on his ass for days and if he failed in submission the second or third day, he got another round harder and longer than before.  After I made those adjustments and really enforced the rules and chores, I noticed a big change in his attitude and willingness to submit. I followed all the Dominatrix guides of training, no pussy, chastity, etc. and changed the cuckolding theme by adding a Bull to the list of guys I would fuck on a regular basis.

There was always a difference in his submission when I fucked other men, especially if he was able to see or hear it. But by increasing the number of times I got fucked a week and adding a Bull to mix made a significant difference. That's when I really noticed a major change in in how submissive he would be, not to mention how powerful it made me feel and how much it really turned me on. You see, the fear of punishments made him obey with out question, but it was him knowing I really loved being fucked and preferred sex with more endowed men over him that made his submission more sincere. Especially if able to watch, or hear me moan and scream from all the orgasms I'd have, because he would really know just how much I enjoyed their dicks over his. That's why a Bull is perfect, because he doesn't care if the bitch is watching or listening from the corner or another room. He actually is turned on by putting the bitch in his place and rubbing his nose in the fact I prefer sex with him over my bitch. There is no real way to describe the impact of being able in inflict humiliation on that level that only a bull can bring. I'm talking everything from verbal and watching us fucking up close to forced oral and sex, to even punishments. Of course we had to build up to the serious humiliation aspects of it, especially the first time he was made to lick another mans cum up. At first John (my Bull) and I took it slow by doing basic stuff like me humiliating him about how small his dick was, especially compared to Johns, and telling him how much I loved John's dick over his. I always tied him down one way or another, sometimes allowed to watch and sometimes being blind folded only able to listen. He would also fetch us drinks and towels for after sex, and even made to buy lingerie for me to wear for John and Condoms for John to fuck me with (that helped add to the humiliation). After the forth play time John and I both started humiliating him, and I would put my sub in one bondage position or another with a mouth spreader in and John would fuck his mouth for a bit prior to sex with me. After 4 or 5 more times of forced oral and hard training which included him sucking my dildo added with a mixture of 125 hard leather strap and caning lashes while shouting orders to suck that big dick and please it like a good little bitch, as well as other humiliation. It was also explained and drilled into his mind that he would be sucking Johns dick promptly when ordered. Then I explained that resisting an order to suck john would result in the mouth spreader being inserted and forced to do it anyway followed by 250 leather/caning lashes and loss of free time, privileges, and his allowance for a month. He realized there was nothing he could do but accept sucking Johns dick especially after repeating this the next 3 days. Now we started forcing him to suck John hard prior to our fucking, I would of course have the cane in hand for him to see as he was ordered to suck and even smacked his ass hard a few times while he sucked telling him to suck it better. Shortly there after we occasionally made him service us before, during or after sex especially for clean up duty. After a month or so, John was ordering him around as much as me, and I must say it really turned me on. John would have me wear my strap-on and have him suck it while he smacked his ass and we both humiliated him about being a bitch and becoming a sissy. He would then have him suck his cock as I caned him, and then order me to fuck him. Hearing my Sub moan while gagging trying to suck Johns cock turned us both on immensely, which lead to me leaving my dildo shoved in his ass and some hot passionate sex with me and John!

As one month turned into two months, John and I started fucking with out condoms and by now my Sub was very submissive and quite the little sissy. It was John's pussy and he was no longer allowed to see or touch Johns pussy. We had started making him wear panties and he served John with equal amounts of submissiveness as he would me. I would even take him to Johns house to clean or wash his car as we fucked with the bedroom door open so he could hear me scream with every mind blowing orgasm, and I had many of those every time we fucked! Regardless who's house we were fucking at, after we would finish, John or I would call him in to first kneel at our feet and thank John for pleasing me the way he never could and for taking away pussy from him so that he could serve better. Then he was ordered to smell the cum spot on the sheet, then lick the sheets clean as we both humiliated him and degraded him about how much of a pathetic bitch he was and that this would be his place from now on. Then John would have him suck the pussy juice and cum off his dick as I would kiss John and use my fingers to scoop out as much cum as I could and hand feed it to him in lieu of him licking my pussy clean since John forbid him to touch or see it. We would use him every way we could think of to enhance our sex, humiliate and degrade him, and punish him. He would be kneeling naked with his little chastity on, at our feet while we watched a movie, or ate dinner (he would cook or pay for it and serve it) or just had foreplay before sex. All of this turned me on so much, I never knew I could get so hot and turned on especially when John started fucking my sub.

John knew it humiliated my sub to be treated as a bitch by us, but to be fucked by him when ever he wanted, really made him feel humiliation on a different level especially when he was informed that his tiny pecker would be permanently lock away and treated like a sissy slut. We both knew this was the no turning back point for my Sub, to take his place from then on, and I really wanted it. I wanted him serving me, and I wanted to fuck whom ever I wanted, when ever I wanted with him being the perfect little sissy, cleaning and serving me the whole time. John made sure he knew we owned him and that anal pussy of his. From the first time John fucked him with out a condom, and told him why. Cause we owed his ass, and his ass was there to give his big dick pleasure, no different from his mouth. The first time my sub was not very vocal, and didn't really enjoy it. He was very humiliated at being taken by a much larger dick than his and knowing this would be his fate on a regular basis. He was now a true sissy slave, and his only purpose would be to serve and obey me, which is exactly what I wanted. John did not wait for his tight ass to accept his dick, he slid it in slowly and immediately started fucking. He would however start off slow before he starting pounding him. It really turned me on watching him get taken for the first time, but even more so in the days to come as my sub eventually started accepting Johns cock. He would moan and scream as john fucked his ass into submission, having my sub scream out when he said, who's bitch are you?, "Your bitch Sir!!", You want me to own that ass, don't you? "yes sir, please own my ass!!" It really, really turned me on to hear him scream and moan into submission by John while listening to the lock on his chastity smack back and forth from the intensity of John pounding him.

John would smack his ass hard as he pounded him, telling him to squeeze his pussy muscles tight on his dick, sometimes he would stop fucking him, grab him by the hair of the head and tell him, "this isn't for your pleasure its mine now squeeze those pussy muscles harder and hold it tight for me", followed by a series of hard ass smacks and my sub saying "yes sir" . I could tell he was squeezing johns cock with all he had because his face was squinting and he wasn't moaning as loudly. John would pull out and cum on his ass, the bed or my tits for him to lick off. Eventually it became the norm that my Sub would obey John and routinely suck and get fucked by John. This was great because I had stopped touching his tiny member and locked it away permanently, so getting fucked by me or John, or whom ever I said, was his reward for becoming my lifetime sissy bitch. This was the best kind of reward because fucking him would build his need for release as it teased him because anal fucking does not give orgasm only pleasure that builds and goes no where. I also started dating a another female (I didn't mix her with John), and believe it or not, she was more strict and humiliating than John was. She was especially cruel and degrading, finding was to humiliate and make him suffer, like; fucking him with a ice dildo - icy hot on his balls - a ball stretcher with pins in it- spitting or pissing on his face- making him run ads on bi/gay web sites and then made to service these guys - instead of milking him she would tie him all four limbs to bed post and spank his balls with a crop steadily and firmly until they released cum(I didn't even know that was possible) - use ice on his balls until they were numb then drip hot candle wax on them to burn back the sensation - make him shave all pubic and under arm hair - She would use ginger root in his ass while she mercilessly used a cane on his ass until his bottom was black and blue - and even doming him in public when the three of us were out. Of course he was also never allowed to see or touch her pussy, he did lots of oral on her strap on dildo. This ended up with us girls tying him down on all four's with a butt plug in, a blind fold on and made to suck a dildo while we fucked each other and played. We almost always finished by making him lick the dildo's clean, as we took turns fucking him. She just another level of fun with my sissy, and I still play with other men, and John. I could never go back to a husband and wife life because I couldn't be more happier or sexually satisfied than I am now. Besides, even though it took some time to show him his natural place, my bitch is just as happy and sexually fulfilled participating in my sexual fulfillment. Who knew welting his ass up severely and being a cruel, dominant slut would make me this happy and give me the best life with the best sex I ever had. Looking back my only regret is that I should have done this sooner, and wish I would have realized it was my own fault that I didn't use my power properly or be the dominant I should have been. With that said, if you don't have your slave/bitch obeying you properly or find him rebelling or resisting your control, its YOUR fault because your the one with the power to make it happen! Hopefully my story helps you make the changes you need to in order to get what you want.